Dazed and Confused

Daddy asked me a simple question last night which got my mind reeling.  He simply asked, "What do you want?"  Once again, he was tired and I resorted to pumping and watching porn while he laid naked next to me.  I told him I wanted breasts full of milk.  Then he clarified and asked what I wanted overall.  Happiness to me is not worry about money, bills, a place to live, a decent vehicle to drive, and the normal worries of life.  I'm content on that never happening so I don't dwell on it right now.


Then it got me thinking...What else do I want?  Right now, the ability to shoot milk from my breast is first and foremost but with no real support and commitment from Daddy, that's probably never going to happen.  So if I resort to a suckle buddy maybe I'll get fully lactated.  The definition is as follows from landmilkhoney.com:

What does the term "fully lactated" mean as used in "Successful Adult Nursing"? I based the answer on what I have seen and know about nursing mothers. I know that some mothers leak drops of milk when they hear a baby cry, and/or can spray streams of milk during a letdown. "Full lactation" can be defined as a level of response that produces a visible flow of milk that she can initiate without the help of her nursing partner. If she can trigger a visible letdown without his assistance, then she is fully lactated. At this level of response she has taken the lactation process about as far as it can go.

Full lactation also implies that her milk production cannot be stopped simply because her nursing partner is not available to her when she needs him. Her release of milk is no longer optional but is now a basic necessity, similar to urination. When her breasts become full, she MUST letdown. If he is not available to help her, then she must find another way to relieve herself. She must release her milk because she has no other choice. She is fully lactated… even if she cannot initiate the release of milk without help. This type of response is one of the cornerstones that makes Adult Nursing so demanding, so rewarding, and so powerful.

Adult nursing is not for every one. It means adjusting your daily lives to put your relationship with each other first, above all other relationships and obligations, and this is not an easy task in our fast-paced and complex society. It means physically offering yourselves to each other daily, within an intimate setting, with built in reprimands if you don't! It means providing for each other's day-to-day physical and emotional comfort in a very real and tangible way.

I just emailed Daddy the rest of this article.  Hopefully he will read it...Then I got to thinking about how the suckle buddy thing would work.  Daddy has his Domme coming by Saturday with another sub of hers to play.  I don't really care to go another evening with no play of my own.  So what would I do?  If I have a suckle buddy, would he come over and suckle while they play?  Would we take it to the bedroom?  


I talked to my Sis in the lifestyle and she suggested his Domme incorporate it in our play.  That sounds cool enough.  She's having issues though with her Dom Drop and I'm a little nervous that she's going to want more.  In addition, bringing another Sub into the picture as my Daddys gets fucked by her strap-on may prove intense for me and him at times.  I'd almost rather not be present but still want to look out for him.  He takes things to extreme and won't use a safe word.  I'll be very upset if my precious white cock gets injured due to his pride and/or her ignorance.

So I'm stuck.  He gets everything he wants out of BDSM handed to him on a silver platter and I have to literally beg for what I want.  That's unfair and lopsided to say the least.  We definitely have to get this balanced out before it gets out of hand and we end up where we were back in October...